Here's Tricky Augustine's recap of page 4. Reposted due to technical difficulties.
Scavhunt 2011! Congrats to BJ for a well-deserved victory, to all the
other teams for breaking every official and unofficial record of
awesomeness, and cabal members both new and old for keeping the dream
alive in our silver anniversary. Below are some quick thoughts and
reflections on page 4, my page.
44. A creepy doll. That always follows you. That has a creepy eye.
That's always open. A creepy doll. That always follows you. That has a
pretty mouth. To swallow you whole. [3 points. 5 bonus points if it
freaks out a Judge with an appearance during an unexpected Scav
Notes: I’m not quite sure if this item is better if you know of the
Jonathan Coulton song, or if you don’t. In any case it’s catchy, and
there’s a youtube video of Neil Gaiman playing the tambourine part
somewhere. Actually, I have to admit I have a pretty low tolerance for
creepy dolls, to the point where a completely non-creepy doll might
have been a more difficult item. Still, these were great.
Best Completion: Personally, I have to give it to South Campus who
dropped their freakish stuffed deer-rabbit hybrid on us from on high
as soon as we entered their headquarters. Also, Breck’s managed to
make Judge Cynthia cower for a bit, which tends to be a pretty good
standard for shit-freaking. Finally, I was able to make Judge Citron
squeal by sneaking up on him with BJ’s. High comedy.
45. School dance photos of tenured faculty. Special consideration will
be given to powder blue tuxedos, beehive hairdos, and leisure suits.
[3 points each, 4 photos max]
Notes: Considering I’m never happy with how I look in most
photographs, I’m actually quite happy with most of my school dance
photos. It turns out our faculty should be as well. Man, 80s prom
dresses were awesome.
Best Completion: I’ve been sworn to secrecy on many of these. To get
sort of a general idea, check out Charles Lipson’s facebook profile.
There were beehives, there were leisure suits, there were blue
tuxedos, mistakes were made.
46. Trivial Fursuit: the internet-fetish trivia board game for ages 12
to adult. Very adult. [12 to adult points]
Notes: Pun items go in and out of style depending on the season, but
considering that only one letter has been changed, I was pretty happy
this got on the list. More than a few scavvies came up to me and told
me that this was their favorite item of 2011 to do. I’m glad.
Best Completion: All of these were just great. And the best part was
how there’s a non-zero chance that the converted Trivial Pursuit games
will all be returned to various dorm commons areas with questions
about Agony in Pink and Evangelion Hentai
47. The dress Miss Frizzle wore the day she taught Sex Ed. [13 points]
Notes: I had a lot of great teachers in my time, but I wish they had
worn themed-dresses when introducing volcanoes or whatever. Sadly, it
was only now that the dream has come true. Worth. The. Wait.
Best Completion: Again, all excellent, especially those that made sure
not to puncture the air bubble on the attached condoms (They’re still
good!). In addition, Snitchcock’s came accompanied with a video that
was as hilarious as would be likely to ruin the political career of
all involved, would it be publically released. Take my word on this
51. A basketball hoop that's a rib cage. A RIB CAGE! [12 points]
Notes: I’m not sure the Judge Cabal knew this was a 30 Rock reference
when I proposed it and it was passed. Then again, I have a quota of
skeleton items I try to get on the list every year. 12th times the
charm, right? I don’t know what was better, the basketball hoops or
the way I was able to force a meme by pure power of shouting… A RIB
Best Completion: With all due respect to those who valiantly ate their
weights in Rib and Bibs to complete this one, I have to give it to
MacPierce, whose interpretation combined the phrases “deer carcass”,
“roadside butchering” and “thousand-mile skeleton transport” into
something new and terrifying.
52. Seventeen magazine's “Traumarama" column featuring the most
embarrassing moments of Ernest
Hemingway, Ayn Rand, H.P. Lovecraft, and Batman. [4 points]
Notes: Many of my sufficiently advanced creative-writing scav items
are indistinguishable from McSweeney’s articles that I’m too lazy to
Best Completion: With all due respect to GASH’s Batman, which did
Frank Miller better than Frank Miller does Frank Miller, I have to
give it to Snitchcock who photoshopped and replaced pages in an actual
Seventeen magazine, so indistinguishable that it eventually lead to a
fellow judge picking up the magazine to look through it and eventually
getting really confused.
53. A dozen eggs, one prepared in each of the following styles:
scrambled, fried, poached, tamagoyakied, Scotched, tea-ed, century-ed,
blow-torched, defibrillated, spatula-bounced (five times in a row,
minimum), arc-welded, and Burning Man-ed. [15 points]
Notes: This came from a Seinfeld-like conversation I had at a
restaurant about how in diner speak “two eggs any style” really means
“scrambled or fried”, poached likely getting you some odd looks, and
anything involving chives being right out. Should have had a toast
Best Completion: Not going to lie: this got a little repetitive to
judge by the end, especially since no team managed to get the full
dozen. My initial plan was to sample some of each, but round about egg
number 23, that plan was abandoned. Scav already gave me an eating
disorder, and I can’t imagine eating a gross of increasingly cold eggs
would help that out. Anyways, GASH probably had the best tamgoyaki,
Snitchcock the best scotched egg (along with the prerequisite British
team member who went totally anglophile in explaining the majesty of
sausage coating an egg), and Max P. gets points for indulging me by
arc-welding the egg right there at judgment.
54. A relief of a famous literary scene, carved entirely from its
print source. [22 points]
Notes: The above was inspired by the obviously-photoshopped Diary of
Anne Frank poster seen here:
http://thedailywh.at/2011/03/23/this-x-that-30/ Desperately wanted to
see something like it in my hand.
Best Completion: Man, I guess I really getting wishy-washy in my
old-judge age, as I cannot seem to pick a favorite one for this
either. Shakespeare, Homer, Cervantes, Tolkien and others were
represented and represented wells. Probably the item I most wanted to
swipe from teams, though most made it clear they wished to hang on to
their work, and would have bit me had I tried it.
56. A box of cryptozoology animal crackers. [5 points]
Notes: Scav may have a special love for the hodag, but frankly, all
mythical beasts are up for grabs in my mind.
Best Completion: Any team that didn’t use glue to stick theirs
together, meaning I could actually chomp down on the chupacabra or
whatever. They know who they are…
57. You're at the movies with your date, but you can't seem to enjoy
M. Night's latest when you're too concerned about whether you should
be holding hands. Create an armrest-sized system that will allow both
parties to give clear signals ranging from “Why don't you go get some
popcorn?" to “Start sliding into second, homie." [8 points]
Notes: I have no clue why movies are considered such a good date
location. There's no conversation, the food sucks, and there's a
non-zero chance you'll have to watch something by Seltzer and
Friedberg. Let alone the battleground that is the armrest.
Best Completion: Especially loved BJ’s, which took the “signaling”
aspect to the next level. I had never before considered what the
unique symbolic equivalent for “start sliding into second, homie”
would be, but trust me, they got it.
59. One of the Captain Crunch whistles made famous by John Draper. [20 points]
Notes: Nerd lore time: John Draper was a phone phreaker in the 1970s,
using specially designed “blue boxes” to trick phone company computers
into giving him free phone calls. He went by the name Captain Crunch,
a reference to a whistle included in boxes of the cereal that just so
happened to play at 2600 hrtz, the frequency that, when played into
the AT&T phone system, would allow someone to use a toll-free number
to make numerous free long distance calls. Probably the most obscure
item on my page.
Best Completion: Sadly, I did not get the actual whistle in my hand,
though many teams came close. Blint, I believe, was able to get a
picture of the actual John Draper with his own whistle in front of
their logo. Very cool. Scampi modified a whistle to be pretty darn
close to 2600 hrtz (or so their team oscilloscope displayed). Finally,
Max P. convinced me through a series of photographs and shipping
orders that the genuine article on the way to campus, but was delayed
in transit. They’d better have it when I come next year.
63. A complete copy of A Fragment Out Of Time. [25 points]
Notes: This is the work generally considered to be the first work of
slash fiction, featuring the original slash couple Kirk and Spock. The
author never gave permission for it to be reprinted on the internet,
so you could only find this in obscure collections of science fiction
material. Hard to fine erotic Star Trek literature with important
nerd-history value? That’s a good go-find-it item in my mind.
Best Completion: The teams that completed this did so by calling in
connections at various college fanzine collections and, if failing to
do so, resorting to library breaking-and-enterings. I’m glad no one
got arrested but, let’s face it, attempted larceny of Star Trek slash
fiction would’ve been a hell of a thing to come up on a background